World Cup News 8

Report 8

My Opinions

So we reach the round of 16 and Holland get through in the final few minutes courtesy of a beautifully executed 'dying swan' dive by Robben. Everyone was screaming 'he dived' ! Yes he did and that's cheating but no-one has mentioned the Mexico defender throwing his leg in front of Robben with a ' there you go old chap,fall over that if you dare '. What a prick !
Anyway, that's one less South American and one more European side( forgot to mention,I'm supporting all the European sides).

Costa Rica go through because they were up against a side who couldn't hit a cows' arse with a cricket bat.I was actually shouting at the TV( I think I need help )at the utter uselessness of the Greeks shooting.They obviously thought the goal was 50 feet up in the air. Useless bastards. I really felt for the Greek manager,Santos; his expression speaks volumes.You can almost see him  thinking 'FFS, WTF are them useless twats doing out there ? '

Brazil go through 'though the lord knows how.Hang on,maybe that's it; it must be divine intervention because they really have been shit up to now.

Colombia go through and Uruguay are out. Oh joy unconfined ! I did forecast Mr Suarez would be crying soon enough following his gloating and boy,did I enjoy this result.

The French continue to impress. Following the 2010 World Cup where their team was a bloody disgrace,Deschamps has put together what I consider to be the best Team at these finals.They just seem so organised and together.

Germany had their toughest test yet against, would you believe it,Algeria who,it has to be said,paid the price for missing a host of chances.To quote the BBC match report " The three-time champions lacked urgency throughout the 90 minutes. They frequently looked rattled as an enterprising Algeria wasted a succession of chances in an open, exciting encounter, before Andre Schurrle finished from close range early in the first additional period. " That's just it ! They needed extra time and will need to up their game considerably if they are get past the French.

Argentina are through.Switzerland are not. The Swiss could and should have put this game out of Argentinas' reach despite Messis' team dominating possession.They don't look like World Champions to me(but WTF do I know,I backed Italy).

Belgium go through at the expense of  USA. The Belgians were better in this game after looking like a bunch of bloody carthorses in previous games.I predict the USA will win the World Cup sometime in the not too distant future. Klinsman has put together a more than decent team made up of virtual unknowns( this side of the water), who just refuse to give in.Howard,in the USA goal was utterly brilliant.

I'm getting the feeling the old order could be changing.The usual suspects, Brazil, Argentina, Spain, Germany and Italy have,up to this point all under-performed and I'm fully aware some will say 'yes but when they need to up their game,they're capable of doing so '. It isn't just that though. It's the fact that teams like Costa Rica, Algeria, Chile, Switzerland and USA have all played exceptionally well on the biggest stage. We'll see if I'm right or if I'm barking up my own arse, in 2018.

Ciao !

An Ode to Suarez

                                   An Ode To Suarez

The ball comes over,the goals' in sight

Will he score or take a bite

Five minutes left,one goal to win

Opens his mouth and the teeth sink in

I wasn't me,I'm no sinner

I just fancied an early dinner

I did nothing wrong cries the Uruguayan

Oh ! Yes you did,and you'll soon be cryin'

No World Cup and a 4 month ban

He'd best get himself a van

Luis Suarez,you rapscallion

You just fancied 'an Italian'

World Cup News 7

Report 7


My Opinion

So England complete their 4-yearly(what is the word for that; quiennial?) journey with nothing to show for it....again.I must say I haven't been disappointed because my expectations were low. When I first saw the squad my mind was made up,we just don't have enough quality. All their experience is in the EPL.Not one member of the team plays abroad. That's surely laid the lie to the EPL being 'the best league in the world'. I've seen all three games and below are my own ratings for each player taking part.

Hart; Seems to have lost something in the last 12 months....the art of goalkeeping.
Foster ; Gives me the jitters when I watch him.Ditch him.

Johnson ; Crap. F**k him off...now.
Baines ; Worth another chance.
Cahill ; Don't rate him but who replaces him ?
Jagielka ; He's had a shitter. Not good enough.
Smalling ; Maybe worth perservering with.Got stuck into the Costa Ricans; they didn't like it up 'em.
Jones ; Hard to work out.Shows flashes of brilliance,then gives the ball away.
Shaw ; Definitely worth keeping.Looks a really good prospect.

Gerard ; Sorry Steve,your games up wack.Get the pipe and slippers out.Get rid.
Wilshire ; Hard to weigh up.Keep him 'till someone better comes along then f**k him off.
Lampard ; Looked good in the CR game but his times gone. Off to the MLS you go Frank.
Henderson ; How this guy got into a World Cup squad beats me.WTF ? Get rid.
Oxlade-Chamberlain ; Shame about his injury.Keep him,very promising.
Milner ; Not what he used to be. Get rid.
Lallana ; Worth keeping.Could be a gem.
Barkely ; Improving all the time.Will be the new Rooney.

Sturridge ; Powder-puff player.Not good enough at this level.Too selfish.Get rid.
Rooney ; People say 'get rid'. I say keep and play him in the right position.
Welbeck ; Not the player he was when he burst onto the scene. Disappointing.
Lambert ; Ok for the EPL but not for this level.Get rid.
Sterling ; Annoying little twat.Undoubted ability but still thinks he can beat three players ...at this level ? Hodgson needs to kick him up the arse and teach him to pass the bloody ball.

So my bet on Italy has turned to dogshit.Never mind,there's always next time.
Stop Press news ; Well,well,well.Mr Suarez strikes again(or should I say bites again ?) I did say his gloating after the England game would come back to haunt him and we would see him cry.The repercusions of his latest biting incident should be drastic.I say 'should', but we are dealing here with FIFA.Expect the unexpected.My money is on him getting a slap on the wrist.

Ciao !

World Cup News 6

Report 6

My Opinions

Japan v Greece

Q : Have you ever felt like sticking needles in your eyes or closing the door shut on your fingers ?
Well after watching this,I have ! This bloody lot should be made to play each other non-stop without food,drink or even stopping for a crap  until they are old men.

Uruguay v England

Well,I again forecast our demise(I take no pride in doing so,it wasn't really that difficult to foresee) and Englands' pride and joy are on the plane home.Roy Hodgson now has to make some difficult decisions,e g., should he have a window or an aisle seat ? Mr Suarez ? The footballer is brilliant, the man is a pig.

Italy v Costa Rica

 At every World Cup Italy manage to do something stupid whether it be getting a player sent off or scoring an own goal.They can definitely be relied on to kick themselves in the bollocks.This game was a good example. I think I've f****d up royally here...I've backed Italy to win the World Cup. Altogether... 'you bloody knobhead' .

Argentina v Iran

So,prospective World Champions manage to beat a Sunday League side in the 91st minute.The papers were raving 'Messi genius'.What a load of bollocks.What about the other 90 minutes when he was complete shite ?
 
Nigeria v Bosnia-Herz

Saw nearly all this game and was greatly impressed by the Nigerians.They looked very good.

Germany v Ghana

Another walk in the park for the Germans.....NOT ! If teams like Ghana can learn to control themselves in front of goal they could well be World Champions in years to come.Ghana might have won this game.At times they pissed all over the Germans(not literally,you understand).

Belgium v Russia

Watching this game was akin to trying to swim through a river of snot. For a team of so-called 'top players' Belgium were bloody awful.

Holland v Chile

Here was me cheering Spains' exit and along comes an identi-kit team in the form of Chile playing that bloody mind-numbing tippy-tappy possession football.It makes my bloody teeth itch.Holland once again showed they have loads of skill and the right degree of cynism to go far in this.   

Only another 3 weeks to go ! Can I last the pace ? I'll have to get some extra training in(either that or some extra beer)

Ciao !

 

 

World Cup News 5

Report 5

My Opinions

Australia v Holland

Holland did for Spain in their first game so the Aussies were going to get their arses kicked,right ? WRONG ! The Aussies,for all their alleged lack of decent players gave it a right go and to be fair to them,they really put the shits up the Dutch even having the bloody cheek to take the lead after drawing level.Cheeky buggers.

Spain v Chile

Bye bye Spain. I for one, will not miss you one little bit. That bloody tip-tapping the ball about gets right on my tits. Chile were hot (?) 

Cameroon v Croatia

Didn't see much of this, but,when it was announced pre-tournament,the Cameroon players were refusing to board the plane to Brazil because of a row about money I thought ' yes,you buggers won't be there very long '. Add to that players head-butting their own team-mate and Song,the dirty bugger,being sent off(and yet,clubs are still trying to sign him,with the appalling disciplinary record he carries around ?) you can see this is not a happy camp.They won't be missed.I've already said on this blog I think Croatia can progress.  

So,one week gone and I have to say I've not missed many games but of those I have watched,at least half have been utter shit.Some of the South American sides have been quite good to watch(I do not include Brazil).
As I write this blog,England are about to meet Uruguay in a do or die game.Apologies in advance if I seem to be the prophet of doom,but I cannot see us winning this game.I just don't think we have any top players.Hope I am proved wrong.

Ciao !

World Cup News 4

Report 4

My Opinions

Iran v Nigeria

Was this the game where the spectators were paid to watch ? If not,then it should have been. What a complete and utter load of shite.The game is only memorable for two things; Nigeria are called The Super Eagles ! That's a bloody laugh; I was becoming disgusted with the commentator who,every time a certain Iranian player had the ball,he referred to him as 'The Shagger'.I thought ' now hang on a minute, that's not on'.It was only when I looked at the team sheet I realised he was on about Dejagah. 

Ghana v U S A 

USA scored after 31 seconds then showed us they're not very good really with Ghana dominating play and getting a deserved equaliser late on,only for USA to score a winner at the death.Well done the Soccer boys !

Belgium v Algeria

For a large part of this game,the biggest shock of the tournament looked on the cards with the Algerians leading from a 25th minute penalty.The Belgians looked like they had been on the piss for the last week with the reputations of some of their big-name players,shown to be pie-in-the-sky.They eventually won the game but looked anything but prospective winners of the trophy.

Brazil v Mexico

Again,Brazil have been exposed. The goalkeeper was the hero for Mexico but they more than held their own at the other end.The Brazilians were up to their old tricks but we've come to expect that.(incidentally, FYI The three teams with most red cards at World Cup Finals are 1.Uruguay. 2. Brazil. 3.Argentina.Can anyone see the common denominator ?)

Russia v S.Korea

I was wondering what commentator Kevin Wilsons' reaction was when told this was  his game.
Here is the S Korea squad :

  Jung Sung-ryong , Kim Seung-gyu, Lee Bum-young.

  Hong Jeong-ho , Hwang Seo-ho , Kim Chang-soo , Kim Young-gwon , Kwak Tae-hwi , Lee Yong , Yun Suk-young , Park Joo-ho .

  Ha Dae-sung , Han Kook-young , Ji Dong-won , Ki Sung-yueng , Kim Bo-kyung , Lee Chung-yong , Park Jong-woo,  Son Heung-min.

  Kim Shin-wook, Koo Ja-cheol , Lee Keun-ho , Park Chu-young .
Is that a commentators bloody nightmare or what ? I bet he was thinking 'WTF have I done to deserve this ? '
To make things even better for him,virtually every name in the Russian squad ended with ..ov.Well done Kev ! Way to go !

Last but not least,I feel I must mention the referees magnificent comb-over.Whatever he had put on it to prevent it flapping around a-le Bobby Charlton,it worked.Not one bloody hair moved(mind you,there was only 17 in total) all through the game(my money's on spray-on glue).
BTW, the Russians were shit,so was the game. 

Ciao !

 

World Cup News 3

Report 3

Switzerland v Ecuador

The Swiss came from behind to beat a rather physical Ecuador side.Apparently at time of writing,the Swiss are ranked 6th in the world. What ????? Who dreams up these rankings ? If the're sixth in the world rankings,I'm a nuclear scientist.What a load of horseshit . As for Ecuador,they're another side who believe physical strength will make up for the lack of skills......it doesn't.

France v Honduras

The French strike me as a side who could go far in this.With a younger,totally changed side from 2010 they suffered extreme provocation from what can only be described as a bunch of bloody thugs,Palacios going to number 1 in the charts as filthiest player in the tournament so far. My guess is the Honduras Coaching Manual goes something like this ;-

1) If it moves,kick it.
2) If it still moves,kick it in the bollocks.

Argentina v Bosnia-Herz

Ah,Argentina.The newspapers are raving about Mister Messis' goal;which took him over an hour to score.......against Bosnia ! Come on ! It would be outstanding if he scored it against Spain,Germany,Brazil........just not Bosnia.Frankly the Argys were shit and unless they buck up(which I think they will do),they can book their tickets home early.As for Bosnia-H,considering this was their first foray in the Finals,I was quite impressed.

Germany v Portugal

What else can be said about the Germans ? Efficient ,precise,winners; and Muller is a bloody cheat. I put him level with Palacios at the top of the cheats table.It doesn't matter if it's diving ,play-acting or thuggery,it's cheating. Portugal were piss-poor.Really.They don't look to have a pair of bollocks between the lot of them.


I don't think I've done too bad with my ramblings.My first report forecasting the shittier side of the 'beautiful' game was on the money as was my prediction of Englands' defeat by the Azzuri. 

Ciao !